Murphy's Laws
of Law Enforcement
Hot calls will only come over the air 10 minutes before the end of your shift.
You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.
Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.
The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.
You will only forget to go to court when the case is presided over by the meanest Judge in town.
You will find a "police discount" one day before payday.
Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.
Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.
Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy.
Word processors only delete reports when they are nearly done.
You will be flagged down by a citizen when you are on your way to the PD with a bad case of diarrhea.
Domestic disputes will migrate from an area with the least amount of weapons, like the living room, to the room with the most amount of weapons, like the kitchen.
After taking a sign language course, you use sign to a deaf driver and citizens call the station to complain about seeing you doing strange things and touching yourself on a traffic stop.